Starting this week, I will be sharing some insights and philosophy behind a short, succinct and ever effective little book , The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book is also called the wisdom book and rightly so and today I am sharing with you the second insight.
I believe the wiser you become the more simpler your life will become. Simplicity, in my humble opinion can mean that despite all the obstacles, life flows like a river towards the ocean, propelled beyond its own journey by an invisible force or power.
The second agreement from The Four Agreements is quintessential to happiness.
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Don Miguel Ruiz
Five steps to learn to not take anything personally
1. The first agreement dovetails with the second. “Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.” If your relationship with yourself is solid and you have not used your “word” against anything or anyone then your heart is clean. When your heart is clean it is also strong as it pumps positive, nourishing thoughts into your psyche creating a positive experience and strengthening your connection with the divine.
2. Compassion is very significant in resolving and dissolving differences “ forgive them father/mother for they know not what they do or say”. What others are saying if it is hurtful then remember those words /actions are coming from a deep place of anger or hurt or happiness and joy.
3. The body programs thoughts, transfers it into matter, and stores it as memories or emotions that play a good part when dealing with the world. And you are doing exactly the same. We are all playing our roles, each one in our own dream world. “ we are the sum of our experiences” and no two lives or experiences are ever the same. So why would you allow someone’s opinion of you distract you from your vision and live in theirs, no matter how momentarily, especially the hurtful ones.
4. Ah! what a beautiful world we would dwell in were we bereft of the opinions and judgments of others. When was the last time you were upset? Was it because someone said something to you or someone did something that did not resonate with you? Did you give yourself permission to let someone hurt or anger you? STOP letting other people’s dramas ruin your life. Stay centered and impervious to the outer world…live your own dreams..your own imaginings.. your own story…make it beautiful!
5. The one very proven way to not take anything personally is to LOVE. LOVE. LOVE yourself so much that if someone upsets you, you love yourself so much that nothing will matter. Remember when you fell in love? the first stages? YES! Fall in love with yourself like that, with gay abandon..unconditionally, unashamedly, heartily, happily, joyfully!
Miracles can happen if you allow the space to hold them and if you allow the door to open. I can help you find both within you. I can help you change your words and your relationship with life. You owe this to yourself- this shift. This beauty. This joy and abundance in your life.
